i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
