Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
do herpes really smell.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
