I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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