ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Randomize
