When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
