I want to walk on stilts...naked
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
We are two peas in an std pod
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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