fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
3pm strippers are depressing
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
