I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
