absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
did i walk over a car last night?
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
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