The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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