In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
