it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
