god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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