i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
