Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
