Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
