We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
