I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
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