that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize