If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Randomize