So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
