just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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