I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Edward fifth and chaser hands
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
