Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
