it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
