im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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