i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Randomize
