I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
