im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
