i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
this will be a night to untag.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
