we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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