I want to have your abortion
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
