..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
