butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
My balls are so social today.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
