He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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