I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
