She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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