please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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