Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
