i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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