we have officially lost it.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
We need to get me chipped asap
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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