i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
