The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize