He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
