Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
