She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize