Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
