i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Randomize
