I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Randomize