Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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