I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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