Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Randomize
