he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
