Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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