A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
