I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
There are leaves in my underwear?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize