I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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