I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I still have a little drunk in my system
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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