Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
