did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
