He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Randomize
