i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
