Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
