So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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