There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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