I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
