Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Text me some of your sweat
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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